Caitlin G. Birth Story
John’s Birth Story
I’m not exactly sure where or how to begin when telling a birth story, so I’ll start from before we even knew that our little guy was coming. I had learned over the years about out-of-hospital, midwife assisted, unmedicated births from several different friends and family members choosing to have their babies in this way, and after hearing about their experiences and researching myself, I knew that this would be the way that I would want to experience pregnancy and childbirth. We conceived fairly quickly once we decided that we were ready to start having children, and when discussing the care and delivery, my husband wasn’t quite as sure about delivering out of the hospital, but we agreed we wanted a more natural approach using a midwife if possible, and considering that midwives do not have privileges in our local hospital, we were open to considering using a birth center. We found The Birth Haven and Sylvia, and we set up a meeting with her to see if that was the route we wanted to take. In this initial meeting, she answered any and all of the questions we had, in particular, what happens in the case of an emergency. She was extremely confident in explaining her care and the different situations that would lead to a hospital transfer. We both left that meeting feeling at ease and confident that we would be well cared for and decided to have Sylvia as our provider.
I had a fairly easy pregnancy. Thankfully I didn’t suffer from much morning sickness, and outside of the typical fatigue and discomfort, I felt really good and was able to stay active! I enjoyed getting to go to my regular appointments and felt so cared for and educated about the different things to expect as the pregnancy progressed. Being a first-time mom, I had no idea what to expect throughout, and I left every appointment feeling very informed and confident in what my body was doing to grow my little man. Not to mention, Sylvia was so easy to just chat and build a relationship with, that it made me so comfortable to go through such an intimate time with her.
Like most expectant moms, I felt the most anxious about labor and delivery. I did everything that I could to help things go as smoothly as possible. Outside of delivering at the birth center and using a doula, I didn’t have any expectations for how I wanted things to go. I was open to anything that would help me stay as comfortable as possible. I did request to have the tub available to labor in because I LOVE baths, so I knew that this would probably be a way to help me through labor. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to deliver in the tub or not, but again, I was open to anything and was going to see how things went once things were happening.
I was 40 weeks on a Friday, and I had been having pretty frequent Braxton Hicks for about a week, so I knew baby was getting ready to make his appearance, and we had an appointment that day, but he seemed pretty comfortable in there. We had just had a really nasty wind storm which had torn down some of our fence (which we were planning on replacing anyway), so on Saturday, my husband and I worked to get the rest of the fence torn down and cleared up. I made a point to squat every time I needed to bend down, so it was a day of activity and heavy labor (not the baby kind) followed by some spicy enchiladas for dinner. I slept great that night and woke up on Sunday feeling a little different. I would notice some contractions that felt different than the ones I had been experiencing, but they weren’t anything super noticeable if I wasn’t paying attention. We went to church that morning followed by some Mexican food with friends. If anything, I was thinking I was probably in early labor and was expecting a day or two until active labor started. Well, while sitting on the couch that afternoon, I was debating whether or not to take a nap or a walk, and I felt a contraction that was definitely more intense than I had felt. I sat and timed them for a bit, and they were anywhere from 7-10 minutes apart. Being 2 hours away from the birth center, we knew we didn’t want to mess around with time, but I also knew this could be a long process and wanted to wait it out at home as long as we could. We spent the next hour getting things cleaned up around the house and making sure everything was ready for us to bring our son home. The contractions were more frequent and intense while standing and walking around, but I knew being active would help things move along. I started bleeding, and it was more than I was expecting, so after talking with Sylvia, we decided to go ahead and come in so that she could make sure everything was ok.
While in the car, contractions slowed a bit, but as we got closer to the birth center, they were becoming more painful. Sylvia took one look at me as I got out of the car, and apparently I was still chatty and smiling, so we knew I still had a bit to go. After making sure everything was ok with my bleeding, she sent us to go get dinner, and we decided that we would be more comfortable laboring at a hotel that night until things progressed a bit more.
After dinner, we checked into a hotel around 9:00 that evening. I was able to take a shower, but after about 2 hours, my husband made the decision that it was time to go. I didn’t think we had made much progress because it hadn’t been that long, but he insisted. Contractions were coming anywhere between 2-4 minutes and were getting extremely painful. I had also started vomiting, so looking back on it, he made a good call.
I believe we got to the birth center around 11. I was dilated at a 5, so that was good news! This was the first time that we had checked my cervix. I didn’t want to be discouraged in the beginning and was so glad we waiting until I knew that things were really moving. My doula also showed up around then, and she was able to help my husband with counter-pressure and pain management. After an hour or so, I decided that I wanted to move to the tub where I continued to labor. It wasn’t long before I felt the urge to push. I lost track of time, but I’m pretty sure it was about 5-10 minutes of pushing when he was finally born at 2:30 am. After only about 12 hours of active labor, I think it happened a lot faster than any of us really thought for a first-time pregnancy!
Right after he was born, I heard Sylvia say that he was still in his sack. Looking back on it, my water never broke, so he was born En Caul, which is super rare, and so cool! But after breaking his water, she immediately noticed meconium in the fluid and on him, so while I was holding him and working on delivering the placenta, they were cleaning him off and making sure that he hadn’t aspirated on any of it. They got both him and me out of the tub and onto the bed, and after using suction and monitoring his oxygen, she made the call that his breathing and oxygen wasn’t where it needing to be, and she wanted to get him to the NICU. The ambulance was called, and while we were waiting for it to arrive, they were able to give him oxygen while I was applying skin-to-skin. Once the paramedics arrived, I had to do the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Because I had just given birth and had not been examined, I had to stay behind, so I said goodbye to both my husband and my brand-new baby as they made their way onto the ambulance and to the hospital. I didn’t have any doubts that John (our new son!) would be ok, but not to get to hold him in my arms was devastating.
Sylvia, her birth assistant, and the doula all stayed behind to care for me. I had some pretty significant bleeding, and it was determined that it was coming from a tear. I had torn in both directions, and Sylvia determined that because of the blood that was coming from the upper tear, it was best also to get me to the hospital for a doctor to repair it. It was determined that I had both a 2nd degree and a peri-clitoral tear that included the artery which explained the bleeding. Once the doctor had finished his repairs, I was allowed to go to the NICU to finally see my baby, but on my way down the hall I passed out twice and experienced what the nurse explained as a seizure both times. They rushed me to the trauma room to get me stable, and they decided that in order to rule out preeclampsia, they would need to put me on a magnesium drip which would mean bed-rest for another 24 hours. That meant I still could not see my new son. The doctor later explained that sometimes the body acts like it’s seizing if there is enough blood loss, so thankfully that was it, and I didn’t have any blood pressure issues.
Finally, 36 hours after I had given birth to my sweet little baby, I was able to see him, and after another day in the NICU for monitoring, we got to bring our perfectly healthy baby home! The next few weeks were a challenge with figuring out sleep and breastfeeding, but we were so happy to have our sweet new son home and eventually settled into a groove.
As I’m writing this 11 months later, I still mourn the loss of the sweet moments I thought I would have with my baby right after he was born, and I don’t ignore that all three of us experienced a trauma that we had to work through in our own way. But I look at my boy, and I’m so thankful that he is in our lives no matter how we got to this point. I knew going into this experience that no matter my expectations, things might not go as planned, and I’m so thankful that I had such wonderful decision-making and care by both my birth team and the hospital staff when my birth plan had a sudden shift in direction.
